You may think this is one of those pieces about how marriage is like an onion with many layers and things to learn about each other and blah blah blah.
Ever since I got married, onions have suddenly become a permanent fixture in my life. You’d think it’s an onion, right? Why does it matter? Well because to me onions define many things – mostly related to the oppression of women. (I have that quintessential image of the poor woman cutting onions in the kitchen and shedding tears from the eye burn, with the double meaning or tears for her sorrows at being oppressed and having to cut onions... it's a circle). My relationship with onions was mostly of hate. I hate cutting them, I hate how they BURN like a mother... and make me tear up, I hate that it’s literally the requirement for ANY kind of food, whether it’s South Asian, Mexican, Italian – anything. I hate that it freakin’ tastes good and provides that crunch that makes kabab rolls to die for.
But within that hate is obviously the love – for the taste… and for food. So I decided to come to terms with it. I tried to work with a chopper, but that just made things messier. I washed the onion, but that lethal burn gets through no matter what. So I just came to terms with the fact that if I want to eat good food, I will just have to deal with the onions and the tears.
My life would have continued with this acceptance of the enemy, until I read about what onions have done for us in the past. Apparently if you keep cut up onions in a room, they will literally absorb bacteria and viruses, even the flu. I never tried it, but I did notice that if you leave an onion out, it rots ridiculously fast. Within a few hours it starts to smell “chemical-y”. This must be proof that they absorb more from the environment that regular veggies. I realized that onions deserved my respect. That ironically, the onion too has layers of depth. Under that smelly, tear-jerking, slippery and annoying exterior, lies this creature whose main purpose in life is to provide health… while being tasty. They're like these little saviors, demanding nothing in return (except tears!) I realized I had done onions wrong.
Then I wrote this blog and I googled the whole onion, flu connection and realized it was a hoax.
Damn you onions! You have defeated me again. I hate you, you vicious enemy!