The Kyrgyz Chronicles - Pakistani... American?

You know how people who move abroad usually struggle with some form of identity confusion if not crisis. For me, that never happened in the US. Of all places though, it's happened in Bishkek!

I am told I am the first "American" to have come into the organization as a volunteer. I have suddenly became an expert on America - naturally, that means dissing US politics (thanks to Sarah Palin and now Rick Perry and Michelle Bachman, that part is a piece o' cake!) My accent is fairly Americanish, my way of conduct is more informal and can be acceptable pretty much because, "Oh, she's from America, you know". And mostly when there's conversations about real development, I'm the quiet one - must be American!

I hadn't realized until recently how easy it is for me to take on that role here. In the US, if anyone DARES call me an American, I literally JUMP to say, "No, I'm actually Pakistani." It's almost a defense mechanism. Technically, I'm really not an American! But even if I were, I would always, I WILL always be a Pakistani first. But here in Bishkek, I think I will always be remembered as that American girl who came to volunteer.

Perhaps there's less of a need to defend myself as a Pakistani here, and more so as "an American". Maybe, in Bishkek, being an American is just more exciting that being a Pakistani because people are generally cool with Pakistan here. Perhaps it's the thrill of putting  up a fight and responding to a stir that makes you cling on to an identity - which is kind of a scary realization, if it's true. I would like to believe that I love being Pakistani, and saying I'm a Pakistani, because I love Pakistan.

Fortunately though, I redeemed myself a little bit. Today, I discovered a restaurant literally a block from my place that serves Chicken Karahi. (It will now be my new home). I still wholly do totally Pakistani things - like stare at people if they speak in Urdu - randomly smile at them if they look slightly desi; Live for the day when I can have a samosa; Follow Pakistani breaking news like with interest even though I know it's the same old sensational stuff; Try to livestream the Pakistan-Sri Lanka cricket match even though internet is so slow here, it's literally impossible to watch the ball travel all the way from the pitch to the boundary (you eventually find out if it's a choka from the text-based scoreboard changing).

But it still is this weird realization at the back of my head... which continues to irk me. Have I at some level accepted that a bit of America has entered my Pakistanni-ness? And if so, then is that so bad? Should I be more upset, or more accepting?

The Kyrgyz Chronicles - Ain't seen nothing till you seen a fashion show in Bishkek!

Thaz right! Bring on the glitz n glamor coz we gots a fashion show in Bishkek!

Ok so my only other experience with a fashion show has been in Pakistan. It was for lingerie and only open to the "ladiss" (except the hair stylist Tariq Amin, who apparently is either genderless or just really special!). I guess the aim of that show was mostly to scandalize, but it was actually a pretty cool event. The mullahs didn't find out... otherwise they'd have gate crashed I'm sure!

The goatee cutie

Here though, like the Kyrgyz wedding that I attended recently, everything is planned and prepared to the T, focused on entertainment. There were performances by some local musicians who are really quite famous apparently, because people were going crazy. This one dude with long hair and goatee was kinda cute and sang pretty well too. Apparently he's in this new film called "I love Bishkek" which is supposed to be a milestone in local cinema.

The designer, Dilbar

The show itself was introduced with this story about a flock of birds who were supposed to be gorgeous. The birds flew all around the world and when they went over China, one of them shed a feather there and China started blossoming (perhaps literally, with the Chinese cherry blossoms!). Each design and model represented one of those birds... shedding beauty and blossoming the world.

The Ballerina

I'm actually killing it, but it was really well done. They started by reading a poem and then sharing this tale. Again, this was all translated to me from Russian, so I'm sure a lot of the beauty was lost in translation unfortunately.

The performances started with a ballet. When the ballerina walked on stage, with the white clothes and the spotlight... it literally took my breath away. She was so regal and graceful!I couldn't get the whole thing, but here's part of the performance.

We also happened to have front row seats in the house, so it was a kickass perk too. The clothes were great - amazing fusion of Kyrgyz designs on western style dresses, mostly long and flowy.

But yea, overall, it was a pretty rad evening. I know like most capital cities, Bishkek is not necessarily symbolic of everything Kyrgyz, but it was really wonderful to see the juxtaposition of culture and trend in a majority Muslim country. It shows a social tolerance and ability to treat religion as a way of life, which was truly worth admiring.

If only we could learn from the country that lost the UN Security Council seat to Pakistan!

The Kyrgyz Chronicles - Political Correctness or Culture?

Every culture has its nuances that either seem awe-inspiring or just plainly strange. Lately I’ve been wondering where the line lies between culture and political correctness.

For example, if someone can’t speak the local language, then in most circumstances, people go out of our way to speak the common language and make them feel included. (Naturally, this is IF everyone does speak a common language). I’ve seen that in Pakistan, Dubai as well as in the US. But in Kyrgyzstan, that’s not the case. If you’re with a group of people who all speak Russian, they will go ahead and have their conversations in Russian, even if they know you can’t understand a word. Mind you, there’s no deliberate rudeness – if they need to give you some context about something related to you, or if they’re talking about someone you know in common, they will translate it. But if that’s not the case, generally, they’d just go on with their lives. It’s a very need-to-know kind of communication.

Initially, I thought, maybe it’s a cultural thing. But maybe our need to include, or be included is merely political correctness – not really culture.

On the one hand, I think the need-to-know thing makes sense. If someone is not going to have the context, and it would need a whole new explanation to provide the context, then why waste the time and energy? I mean, I’m sure if things were translated word to word, and even if everyone spoke in a common language, the “outsider” or non-local would probably just sit, nod and smile, not really contribute much anyway.

On the other hand, how else would the cultural knowledge transfer?

Maybe it boils down to personalities. I’ve now been on both sides of the table – even within my immediate family we speak either English (among siblings) or Urdu (with parents) and I personally feel awkward not to speak in a common language that is understood across the board (generally Urdu) when we’re all together. But then again, perhaps my family and I have all been in the PC culture for way too long.

I suppose I’ll continue with over-explaining and boring the hell out of people! But for those who don’t want to, I guess you can’t really hold it against them… right?

The Kyrgyz Chronicles - Kyrgyz/Russian Wedding

Long hiatus! But not only am I back, blogs are also back in Kyrgyzstan! So unless you live under a rock... or in the western world, you probably know that there were elections in the Kyrgyz Republic (which is why I assume, blogs were blocked. I could still post a blog, but I couldn't see what I'd posted!)

Atambaev, the front-runner, won. This was an important election because it was after major ethnic riots that pretty much shook all of Kyrgyzstan last year. Uzbeks in the south were being targeted and faced a lot of violence. In cities like Osh in the south, apparently people are still afraid to leave after dark. I can only understand it as how Karachi was after BB's death. And it was horrible horrible. I hope no one has to go through that ever. But there's hope in Kyrgyzstan that Atambaev will bring about some unity, because he's in the same party as the current president, this awesome woman called Roza Otunbaeva who really brought a sense of unity amongst the people after the crisis last year.

Now the history lesson is over, so on to the first ever Kyrgyz/Russian wedding I attended!

Tables are set!

Local caviar... it's orange!

Yep... that's a whole fish... with eyes!

So weddings here are like a 6-hr long concert! There's an MC! And then there are a bunch of acts and a TONNNNNNN of speeches! Basically each table in the hall is brought up on the mic and a representative (or two or three or four!!) has to say a few words about the bride and groom. I had to go up to! Most of the things were in Russian so I didn't get the jokes, but it was jovial for sure! I'm sure the alcohol helped.

More food

The idea is that tables are set up when you enter the hall after the 'nikah" ceremony where the bride and groom sign papers and cut the cake. In the hall, you eat, drink vodka, enjoy the "concert" listen to speeches, go dance, come back, eat some more, drink some cognac, listen to more speeches, go up and dance again, come back, eat, drink some more... you get the picture.

Our "monument of love"

They also have a competition where you have to make a "monument of love" with whatever you have on the table - which is quite a bit! Our table made a pretty... um... lame one I guess. We connected two bananas in the shape of a heart, stuck a balloon to it, placed it in a candle holder with some candies and flowers... Well in retrospect, it's not that lame!

The coolest part of the wedding though, I have to say - was the bride! Apparently she is a ballerina... and heck she could move! Check it out!



RIGHT????

And apparently, no matter where a wedding is, unless there's some Bollywood in it, it's not complete! I have no idea who these gals were, but they had it down - even to the expressions. I honestly NEVER thought I would hear 'Sharara Sharara' at a Russian wedding!



There were some other really cool performances - including this one guy who can apparently play any instrument in the world! He played a flute and trumpet, and he can make the sound of the trumpet with his mouth too. It was pretty awesome. And he has a daughter who is a super violinist, but also has the voice of a goddess! If these people ever make it to those reality shows where they seek talent, they would clean the slate man. I'd have uploaded those videos also... but uploading videos takes up an entire day here! I'll try another time and update the blog.

Overall, it was a fantastic experience. We left after six hours, when they brought another round of meat and potatoes! In the end though, I guess no matter what culture it is, the general spirit of weddings was the same - lots of dancing! Hopefully we'll keep that spirit in 7 months at my wedding! (It's mostly the only part I really care about!)

But oh well - so things are so far so good here in Bishkek! Will keep writing about the new things I learn!

Onwards!